Skeeter and his 'poor man's Strat'

It is no coincidence that Skeeter was named after a blood sucking parasite. He was given this name, not by his ex-wife, but by a group of researchers who had actually cloned him using DNA found in a mosquito that had been preserved in amber for hundreds of thousands of years (just like in Jurassic Park!). The blood in that mosquito came from a race of "super-humans" that walked the Earth in the days of the caveman who, although scientists disagree about their origin, most likely migrated to Earth from another world more ancient than our own. In fact, the accepted theory on this subject today suggests that the human race as we know it now is the result of a union between these super-humans and the indigenous cave-dwelling people of the time. This would certainly explain why we have evolved to such technological heights while our behavior remains the same as it was in prehistoric times. Skeeter, however, comes from a much purer bloodline. Aside from his superhuman strength and natural musical talent, he has the ability to telepathically communicate with plants. It is no wonder that after leaving the research lab in Dayton, Ohio at age 17 he became a farmer living in obscurity just outside Ames, Iowa. His melons were always a sure fire blue ribbon winner at the county fair. Unfortunately, this caused considerable jealousy among the other town folk, and Skeeter was inevitably tarred and feathered and run out of town. Disillusioned by the seemingly petty nature of mankind, he became a drifter, hopping boxcars from town to town. Friendships were brief, and relationships always ended badly, because in spite of his super-human strength Skeeter was unable to satisfy a woman (this has been verified by his ex-wife). Perhaps that is why his ancestors chose to mate with cavewomen so many years ago. After a series of arrests ranging from vagrancy to criminal damage to a 60 year old Oak tree he had been in telepathic communication with, Skeeter was sent to prison at the still impressionable age of only 23. It was there he met Jamie Fenton, who was already a seasoned veteran of life on the "inside". After a stormy start, they eventually became the best of friends, and in exchange for guitar lessons, Jamie taught Skeeter everything he knew about pleasing a woman. After prison they never saw each other again until just recently, when Skeeter was asked to join Big Richard and take Jamie’s place, who reluctantly left the band because of a rare skin disorder which will force him to live out his days in a sterile plastic bubble. Now he lives on through Skeeter, through his music and by that twinkle in his eye reminding us that he will always have a little part of Jamie inside him. Unfortunately, Skeeter is still unable to satisfy a woman.

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